The Day I Let You Go ..

It has been about 40 days since the feeling appeared and 17 days of happy feeling before knowing the fact .. it's been a crazy ride, but it was sweet .. 

What a journey it has been, but too bad the end is not inside yet .. 

Whether it's taking each other for granted or people change, the bottom line is when one side stop responding, eventually the other side stop trying and finally the feeling will just disappear in time. Even now, I already feel that you're slipping away from my mind, though still pops up every now and then, but I'm sure it will be over soon ...

So 12 December 2012 .. 12.12.12 -- was the day I let you go. After all the things happened, I'm glad I get the chance to have my closure even I don't know how it ends on your side, but to me this is it.  

Even at the end I won't get a happy ending from this feeling I had, I'm glad that it was you I fell for, even though I don't know why it was you. But thank you for the moments, they were sweet .. 

You can't choose who you fall in love with, when or where it will happen .. I guess that's how love and God work .. in mysterious way. Love does hurt you sometimes and it's not so easy to find, but don't stop looking for it 'cos it can be found in a very strangest places. 

I didn't believe that before, but after experienced it myself .. I have to agree. Even until this very second, it still don't know how it happened. I still wonder why too .. 

But the more I wonder, the more I stuck with the feeling .. so whatever it is, I'm sure God has His reason for me and him to meet this way. 

Now .. I look forward to the day I see you and feel nothing .. It would be the day I can finally let you go. So when the day comes, I hope things are ok between us. 

Letting Go - birthday wish

Yeah, it's MA birthday .. Happy Birthday to me .. :)


thank you God for another year, for all the laughter, tears, joy, heartache, love, blessings throughout the year. It's been one challenging year but it's also memorable. I have no regrets ..

Thank you everyone for all the good wishes through different social medias, whatsapp, text message, phone calls and also thank you for the gift . And to those who spent the day with me .. I'm so grateful and feel blessed for having each and everyone of you in my life. 

But sadly that one person I wish to wish me on my birthday .. did not. I guess he was never really care afterall .. who I thought might have a little feeling for me, apparently was just my feeling and imagination. He never actually interested in me. 

So this year birthday, I dedicated to him ... the one person who has made a big difference in my life even in just a short time and doesn't even know it. It's been great having this feeling, even you don't feel the same and even there will be no happy ending between us, but I'm glad it was you that I fell for, I'm glad that my feeling goes to you .. 'cos I know that way I still believe in love, that my one true love is still somewhere out there. 

I know time will heal this feeling and when that happens, it would be the time I can finally let you go for good. As for the time being, I'm gonna face and live with the fact that we're never meant to be together, it was just me who hope too high. 

I'm letting you go .. I need that room in my heart that you have filled this past few weeks with new hopes and dreams. I'm done trying and hoping as I don't wanna get hurt even more knowing that you never care. I will never understand the things that you did which lead me to think that you're interested, but it's OK .. 'cos the wrong feeling was nice and made me smile. 

So thank you for things that you did, a lot ... but you never knew that they made a big impact .. 

Love .. Emotion .. Feeling ..

Those 3 words I suppose are part of every human being .. what are we without those 3? 

Feeling ..

Just few weeks ago, I came across this weird feeling that I haven't felt for ages to someone who I've known casually for about 8 months but I never noticed his existence 'till that one weekend. Out from nowhere, he was there, noticeable to my eyes, exist and around .. 

I don't know how it started, when it started, where it started, why it happened or what happened that time? But it felt nice and sweet. 

And for the past weeks, it was full of ups and downs .. some days gave me good sign, some days were just normal, but I enjoyed those moments. He made my heart race.

But along the way I felt that we weren't going anywhere, there was never a clear sign that might bring us somewhere, we stood still and after couple of weeks I felt that it was never meant anything. I felt that it was just that weekend that brought this feeling up and out. We then remain a stranger again like before, when he was unnoticed to me. So I declared QUIT. 

But just when I was ready to let go and move on, something nice happened which made me fall again and I felt challenge to try harder. But I guess it was just never meant to be from the beginning. I misread everything. I expect too much in just one weekend because of that special something that happened between us.. 'cos shortly after I thought that it was meant something, I found the hurtful fact .. he is attached. 

I was upset, I was hurt, I went blank that day as I heard the news ... as these past few weeks, he never showed or even acted like he is attached with someone instead he acted like he was interested. But I was wrong .. and now I understand why we stood still, why we ain't moving ...

Emotion ..

Yes, it was all on me .. I misread the signals, I played with my own emotions thinking that he was actually interested for all that particular things he did .. a lot. 

Perhaps it's because I haven't felt this kind of sweet feeling in ages and then he appeared before me and showed something unusual, I was blinded by it. Where the truth is he probably did it normally .. I was so focused on finding my happy ending, I forgot how to read the signals correctly.

Now my emotions are uncontrolled .. part of me wishes that he would break up and choose me. I start thinking that things won't work out between them and I swoop in and there is my happy ending right there. But I know where I stand .. 

I'm upset still .. why would you do those things that you still do 'till now knowing that you belong to someone else and I can't do anything to have you? 

Love ..

Is this love?

Nope .. not yet at least .. it is still way beyond love, it has only been couple of weeks which I, myself still trying to figure out things, thought of getting to know him better before the hurtful fact revealed ..

I seriously thought it might grow into love .. somehow, someway .. someday. 
But well, this ends before it even started.

For what it worth, I'm not sorry for what happened .. I know it's all me, so I'm not sorry.
I'm actually thankful for him for walking into my short days in a very strange yet nice way.

Even for just one short weekend and few days after that, he has made an impact in my life, has become a someone who made me smile, made my heart pounding, made me get up in the morning and feel alive ...
And most important thing that he has reminded me that I can still have this kind of feeling .. like, crush, a little love - whatever suit and believe that love do can be found in strangest place. 

Who would thought that I would actually found him there, though there will no future upon us, but to me the feeling was real. 

So thank you for the moment that we shared which I will treasure. You might not know what's happening, but I really appreciate you never let me fall too deep when you never intended to catch me. 

I'm sort of glad that I found about the fact this early before it went to deep, but I can't help of feeling upset a little bit 'cos I thought you actually cared but I was wrong. 

Now ...

I know I'm gonna be ok .. I've been through way worse than this yet I survive.
I guess one bad thing is that you're still gonna be around me quite a lot, will stand in front of me every now and then ... but you don't know what I feel which is hurt, so I'm sorry if things gonna be different between us 'cos I'll never be the same towards you after this ..

You didn't do anything wrong, you never gave any hopes or anything, but I need this for me ..
I need my closure from you .. if only you could stop the thing you're still doing and I'm sure I'll be alright.

I was this close on telling you how I feel, on Christmas actually .. but God has His way in telling me that you're not the one for me. So He showed me the way by telling me about you and her through my dream, just 2 days after but back then I tried to deny it ..

So I'm ready to walk away .. I won't forget about you but I just need to stop this feeling.

Please let me have the day when I see you and I feel nothing .. that's the day I can finally let you do. 

But one thing I wonder .. what if that weekend never happened? What will happen between us? Will you remind as the un-notice and not exist to me? 

Well, I guess I'll never know ..

The Last

This post isn't mine, but it's Philip Wang's of Wong Fu Productions on their latest short The Last ..

I guess everyone have gone and will get through these phases in life, be in relationship with different people who eventually shape us as a person we are right now 'till we meet the right one.

God wants us to meet different people and learn about others and ourselves 'till we find The Last .. the one that fits us the most .. the one that will accompany us for the rest of our life.. the one that we truly LOVE. 

Who, what, when, where and why .. are the basic questions that will always be part of our life ..  

and this story answer them all .. of course in each and unique way in your life .. So when you found all the answer those 5 senses, hang on to it .. that person might be The Last ..

The original post is here .. The Last

The idea for “The Last” is one that I’ve had for a couple years. It first sprouted right around when Wes was finishing up his short “When Five Fell”, dealing with love in the form of the 5 senses. This prompted me to think of other representations of love, eventually leading me to the theme of this short: who, what, when, where, and why. But while I had this concept in my head the past 2 years, I wasn’t able to put the words down on paper and finish it until recently. Let’s just say, the right inspiration came along to give me the ability and mentality to complete the script the right way.

The goal of this short was to speak to both our younger and older audiences. I know Wong Fu Productions has a lot of viewers who are probably just getting their first experiences of what “love” feels like, or what they want it to feel like. To them, I hope this short gives them a sense of hope and something to look forward to. As someone who has been through those younger stages in high school and college, I wrote Harry’s character to have had encounters of meaningful love in those stages of his life, because they are important. Now, still speaking to these younger viewers, many of you may also feel like you have lost the “one true love” of your life. To those I hope this short shows that your future holds others who you have yet to fall in love with (and maybe once again lose). There is time ahead of you, and in this time you will find love in other ways, or perhaps love will return to you, I can’t tell you for certain, but I can tell you not to completely lose yourself in the present, and try to believe that one day you will look back on the ones you’ve “lost” the same way the man in the film does, with understanding and joy.

To the older viewers, you understand this video from a completely different perspective, because you may have you own past of loves. Maybe not, five, but you understand what it means to have a past, those who came before, and what each of those past experiences have taught you. Could you have your own “who”, or “what”, or “why”? Possibly two “whens”? I hope this short can remind you of what you’ve learned from each encounter of love, even if it seemed terrible back then, you have had the gift of time to teach you why it happened, and how you grew from it.

There’s actually one more audience this short hopefully speaks to, and it’s those who have found the “last”. What greater feeling is there to have gone through a journey of years, emotion, heartache, joy, and to realize that the person you are with now is the person that embodies everything you’ve gained and needed from your past? If you are one of these people who are with the man or woman they hope, or are, the last, remember how lucky you are. Remember the time when you didn’t have their presence in your life. Remember…who, what, when, where, why they are your last, and be thankful. For there are many who are still on that journey you were once on. Encourage them; the lost to keep hopeful, the troubled to keep fighting for, and the cynics to keep believing in, love.

That is all I hope “The Last” can mean to people, as a short film, and as someone in their lives.

Another brilliant piece by Wong Fu .. simple yet meaningful, where we can all relate with

Your Last is out there .. believe in it.

Memories ... and some random thoughts

23 October 1997 .. exactly 15 years ago today I stepped my foot for the first time in Wollongong, Australia - the place I still call home 'till now. 

It was my first long flight journey alone to Aussieland, 9 hours flight seemed like forever. I was scared not knowing anything, I didn't know the place, I didn't speak English all that well and the fact that I would be away from my family for the first time in my 19 years of my life, so yes I was afraid.

Yes, Wollongong was home to me .. I experienced and learned lots of "first time" here in this place. I learned to depend on myself, I learned to live on my own, I learned to make my own decision, I learned how to cook, how to take care of everything by myself. It was tough but it made me stronger. Then I knew that I could do all those things .. 

Here at this place I learned about love - I fell in love and also fell out of love. I had my heart broken, I experienced my ups and downs of life, I learned about life. And the most important thing was I had my first job and experience the feeling of earning money with my own sweat for the first time. It was amazing! 

As for my first salary, I bought a Calvin Klein sunglasses. I was my first true accomplishment :D

Being away from family and friends who you grew up with all your life and suddenly you were put in a very strange place, was never easy. But as time went by, I formed new family and found friends who I treasure forever 'cos they formed me, they made me who I am today. 

"What we have been is what we are"

Going overseas to study was never a plan for me, it was initially my brother's plan but he got chicken out at the last minute, so I decided to go and it was the best decision I've made so far. I don't know what will happen if I stayed here, what would I be. 

Now, 15 years later .. too many great memories to remember, but somehow they are all still fresh in my head. It seems like it was only yesterday I arrived in Wollongong, greeted by Bob - the Campus East staff and met Ari for the first time, he who helped me settled in. And 2 weeks later, 6 November 1997, I met my best friend, Brian for the first time in our first Foundation class and everything is history. 

With Brian, it was not easy but not difficult .. our relationship just grew as time went pass. From a daily routine in Foundation class, grew to like and to a little crazy love and end up as best friend with no romantic feeling. He's not the best and perfect person I know, he's boring and uptight, but somehow we connect and he's my best friend. 

There was never a day passed by without us talking or seeing each other. And now even after 15 years, a marriage and a baby girl, though we don't speak as much, we always have something to talk about and just pick up where we left off and never got dull. I guess that's what friend is .. He's kinda my soul-mate. We both know each other too well, sometimes it's scary.

I got to see him again after almost 8 years being apart, he's been living in Australia since we graduated and he's now an Australian citizen. 

It was Christmas 2009, I was on family trip attending cousin's wedding .. when we saw each other again, it was like we never apart. It was like we were only away for few days. Everything was so comfy with him. I'm so grateful for him .. 

Friends .. 
they come and go .. but I know Brian will stay with me and I will stay with him. Not many guy-girl friend relationship survived, even ours had few hiccups, specially now that he's married. So I'm drawing a line and know where I stand. But no matter what, we will always remain friends .. 

I had fair share of men that came into my 5 years of my life there. They were all special. But sadly among those men, there were only 2 left that still involve in my current life and yes one of them is Brian. 
Though they are all somewhere out there now, I wish them all the best in their life .. they were part of me once and I was theirs, leave it at that. They were my memories .. 

Next ...

18 August 2001, I added a Bachelor of Arts degree - Communication Studies major behind my name. The battle of sweat and tears I had to face for 3 years paid off. I was so proud walking down the UOW theater hall with that blue toga and knowing that my parents were there seeing me accomplished another chapter of my life. It was their battle too .. tough one with the 1998 economy crisis, but we survived.

I accepted the diploma, the chancellor - Michael Codd asked me, "What's next?"

Honestly, I didn't know then and if you asked me now, I don't even know what I want in life. 
I'm still searching. 
I guess I'm just flowing wherever the current takes me. 
I don't even know what my passion is, I like lots of things, but I'm not sure whether my hobbies will make ends-meet. But I'm sure it's out there.

Life is a neverending learning process, so maybe someday I'll find out what I really want and can make the best out of it.

So for now, I'm just gonna enjoy the meantime and live it to the fullest. You'll never know where life takes you. Things could be worse than what I have right now .. 

Just try to really focus on finding what you truly want in life. Like Wes said "Your proudest moment is the one you're gonna come across and believe that it's still out there ..."

So .. Happy 15th years of taking the biggest step in your life, Net. I'm glad I did ..

Toodles!!
23 Oct 2012, 11:22pm

One Night, One Stage, Once in a Lifetime

Two years in the waiting, the reunion concert of NKOTB and joined concert with BSB has finally happened last night - Friday, 1 June 2012. It happened so fast, I didn't even realize it was 2 hours plus since we entered the arena.

Bought these babies 6 months ago, waiting and waiting and it passed like that ...

20 years ago, I watched their concert - my first ever concert and I remember I had so much fun and I was so hype as a very young teenage girl having her first idols. And 20 years later, I didn't feel very much different from back then. I was still hype, screamed and jumped like young teenage girl thirst for the boys. In total of 2 hours plus, 32 songs .. I was totally hypnotize by these 9 guys - Jonathan, Jordan, Joey, Donnie, Danny, Brian, Nick, AJ and Howie with their moves, dancing, words, voices and of course their songs, that concludes I love them all. But to me, NKOTB was extra special 'cos they have special place in my heart for being my first idol and the fact that they reunited after 18 years.

I watched them as individual boyband, NKOTB - 13 February 1992 and BSB - 25 February 2008 and I watched them together as a group NKOTBSB - 1 June 2012 .. and all of them were incredibly memorable and special. 

As Joey said, "I'm sorry it took us 20 years to come back, and we're gonna try real hard to make it .. not another 20 years" .. please don't :)

Expensive Gadget

I finally purchased this baby right here ..

I've been wanting to buy iPhone since the version 3, but keep postponing thinking that do I really need it? So then the 3Gs, 4 to finally 4s came out, still not sure. And the fact that 5 is coming out soon, I started to re-think about it.

Last week, a friend told me about promo with CIMB Niaga credit card - 0% interest for 12 months installment. Within days, I decided that I'm gonna take this opportunity. This is probably the fastest decision I've ever made for buying gadget, expensive one. I'm not a gadget person, 'till now I still use my old fashioned trusty Sony Ericsson phone.

Well .. hope that was a 7.7 millions worth spend! :)

Be patience people, there will be big adjustment needed. Might take me a while to get use to with it.

Reminder of the Day

So thanks to Wong Fu Productions, I got to know these groups of amazing and talented Asian American artists and new artists. As individuals, they have their own youtube channels and website, but together they are under the name of ISA - International Secret Agents. They also developed their website called ISATV which update almost daily on what's happening with the community and their activities.

Asians - as it is still happening around the world are considered minority, but they break the stereotypes by making these breakthrough actions through social media and activities around the world.

This is the reminder of the day from ISA TV website -- When was the last time someone REALLY complimented you?

"Think about the last time that someone said something really nice to you. How did it feel? How did it affect the rest of your day?  We guarantee it probably added a little pep to your step and maybe gave an otherwise typical day an extra boost of confidence and productivity. Now turn it around and ask yourself, When was the last time I complimented someone else? When was the last time I told someone in my life how much they meant or had a kind words for a co-worker as they completed a task?

We were thinking about the power of words at the ISA office recently and wanted to send a friendly reminder that we all need to take a step backwards from time to time and really appreciate the people that we’re surrounded by. It doesn’t take that long to say something nice, but we rarely do it, and sometimes focus more on the negatives.  We were reminded about this when we watched Traphik’s recent video where he took it to the streets in his car and a loudspeaker, giving out compliments to strangers. Although some of them shrugged it off, you could tell that a good handful really appreciated it, which probably made for a more positive day.

Whether we like it or not, we all have the ability to directly impact those in our lives on a daily basis.  It may seem like a lot of power, but ultimately it’s easy to control and we hope that everyone out there uses their power for good".

Just remember words can be sharper than blade. Those blade wounds will heal eventually, but harsh words remain. So rather than saying bad things about other, why don't you compliment others by saying good things about that person. Simple but meaningful words will affect people's lives drastically.

Let's be a lover not a fighter :)

How it all began

And this picture right here is how it all began .. how I get to know these three Nice Guys (the picture is missing Ted), when Lee Hom asked them to direct his latest music video.

Even from this picture, my eyes were already on Phil .. the rest is history :D 

I'm a very proud fan having them as idols. One is an International superstar who has just hold first ever concert in The Bird's Nest Stadium Beijing. And the others have just met the President of The United States - Barack Obama and First Lady, Michelle Obama.

They are still as humble as they first started and brought so much inspirations to people around them. I'm looking forward to where they will take me next ..

Thank you guys for making me a very happy and proud fan of yours .. all four of you!

I Still Call Australia HOME

I hope to come HOME soon ...

Life

If one asked me, what do you search in life? Simple answer would be happiness.

But define happy?!

Lots of money -- with all the assets, where you don't have to worry about anything?

Success -- own company, boss to yourself?

Family -- loving husband, wonderful kids?

Friendship?

Healthy, wealthy and wise?

Honestly, I have no idea ..

I'm still in searching what is my real purpose in life.

For the time being, I'm just gonna settle with

security - having money,

healthy

job that can keep me going,

make myself useful to anyone in need,

make my mom happy,

have fun and enjoy life,

being in love (still looking)

etc etc etc .. I'll let you know when I find out.

And I have to agree with Phil .. "I'm just looking for peace of mind and heart".

I guess .. as long that I can enjoy my life without any pressure, heavy problems or insecurity,

I consider myself lucky.

"Have fun! If you're not enjoying what you are doing, why are you working so hard, sacrificing so much and hurting yourself to attain success in it? You have to first have the passion for what you want to achieve" - WongFu on success

"Do what you love, love what you do, you'll be happy" -I can't remember who, but it kinda sticks-

Too independent .. ?

Lots of people said that I'm too independent for a girl. Well, it's not necessarily bad right? I guess since I was young, my parents told me to be brave and stand up on my own, beside growing up I didn't really have anyone to look up to or depend on. Though I have an older brother, but I could never depend on him .. so at a very young age, I've learned to be dependent on myself. I don't see it as a bad thing, 'cos I feel that I'm still in normal level. It actually gives me the courage that I didn't know I have.

I've never left home more that 3 days before and it was October 1997 when I left home for the first time and I was just 18 years old. I flew alone, took 8 hours flight not knowing what to expect. In a way, I was thankful for the "too independent", if I didn't have that, I'd never get to Australia. In fact, it'd never get me anywhere.

It was final year of high school that I saw a vision that I shouldn't stay here in Jakarta, instead I should explore. Initially my bro was suppose to study in Germany, but he chickened out. So I thought, this is my chance. I then asked my parents whether there was possibility for me to go. I wanted to go to the States - as I grew up watching lots of American shows, but it was too expensive, so at the end I settled with Australia - cheaper (not now though) and definitely closer to home.

It was probably the biggest and bravest decision I've ever made in my life - so far. Going to the country I only gone once - on tour with my family for short holiday, the country with the language that I hardly spoke nor understood. I only learned few weeks before I left though I learned in school, but it was totally different.

I never knew whether I could do it, but to me, you'll never know unless you try and see it for yourself. And I survived 5 years without once being homesick. In fact I love my life there, I truly lived the moments. I didn't wanna come back. For all those 5 years, my "too independent" paid off. I learned lots of things about life, learned how to make decision, made money for the first time (I felt good, specially when you got paid by the hour ;p), and learned that you can't always count of people for certain things 'cos if you kept waiting, you'll never move - which I totally can relate to it now.

I have lots of guy friends, one of them said I was so popular. Others said that I don't need guys 'cos I'm capable of doing basically everything. Well, not everything .. despite me being too independent, I do still need and want to be spoiled, loved and sometimes I want to be clingy with someone.

But honestly, when I was in relationship, I tend to put my guard down and suddenly I wasn't independent anymore 'cos I want that guy to do those things that I normally do myself, I wanted him to be needed, 'cos deep down inside I need him. But we started as a friend, so he knew that I could do all those things myself, so he never offered instead he just let me do anything I want.

Now, 10 years later .. I feel that my surroundings, the condition in Jakarta has limited me being "too independent". There are many things that I can't do by myself anymore.

But I still like to spend my times alone, it's good to go out alone, just to have conversation with yourself. I like watching movie alone - which apparently people look at me weird at first. I mean, come on when you're watching movie, you're watching movie. It's not like you need someone to talk to during the time. But eventually they understand, though some still thinks it doesn't make any sense.

So .. being too independent doesn't necessarily bad, I guess you just have see and adjust with the situation. There are times that you need to be one, but you also have to realize that we don't live in this world alone. At one point, you'll definitely need some helps about something, anything. I mean, you can't play tennis by yourself.

I guess we just have to be open minded with any possibility around us. But one thing for sure, being independent is good thing to measure and challenge yourself. So go out and have fun!!

Strangers, Again

This is one of the short films by Wong Fu Productions that touched my heart and I totally can relate to.

In life, we met people - start as a stranger, be friend, fall in love, share special moments, fight, break up and back to be a strangers, again. It happens to every human being .. it's natural. Some people after they break up, they can stay as friends, some become just acquaintances, but a lot of the time they prefer to become strangers .. though they may keep the fondest memories, they may remember those happy moments every now and then, but they prefer to be strangers 'cos that would be the easiest way.

Philip Wang delivered this simple story in life beautifully. Please do watch it and I'm sure you can somehow relate to it.

"Every relationship goes through stages. Where and how each stage develops is ultimately up to each person. While we always hope for the best, we often can't avoid the inevitable."

Read here for some director's commentary on the project.

My fave quote of this project is when Marissa asked Josh what happen if they're not together anymore, and Josh wisely said

"I think that if life separates us and we end up in totally different places, we’ll always remember when our paths aligned for this period of time and I’ll be thankful for that. And I hope that wherever you are, you’ll be thankful, too. And I think that’s the best we can wish for."

And of course, Phil dedicated this video to his strangers in his life ... "this video is dedicated to those strangers in my life. To you, you, you and you. I still think back often on when our paths were one, and I'm thankful. And I hope where you are (some further than others) that you are thankful too."

Thanks Phil for sharing .. even though I don't know you and you don't know me, but good to know we have something in common. I'm thankful for my strangers too ..

Dream and Reality

Well, this is my another entry after couple of months, I just thought of sharing my random thoughts ..

My last relationship ended long time ago, when I was younger. I had my great moments with him, it was special. But, he has moved on, we have moved on and we have somehow become a strangers. There would be only 2 contacts each year between us, my birthday and his birthday. That would be the only 2 text messages we exchange every year.

Having said that, I haven't been in one ever since and since then .. sadly to say that I've been living in a dream mostly. Picturing this perfect guy, which none in this world apparently, but yet I'm happy living in that world, knowing that I would be loved and he would never hurt me, instead he'd do anything for me 'cos he loves me to the core. Well, probably that's the reason I'm still single until now .. not that I mind, but I do want to have someone who loves for real. But since the perfect guy is so clear in my head, I don't really allow myself to open up and accept anyone come near and destroy that dream.

I keep saying that "believe that dreams do come true" .. yes, I do believe that but we have to do something to make it happen, right? But in this case, if you keep dreaming about some perfect guy that you, yourself build, you'll never with anyone for the rest of your life. Here where you have to realize that reality is important.

How long will you live in your dream and not knowing that in the real world out there, there is actually someone who is meant for you, perfect for you but not as perfect as you want it to be.

Ok, I'm blabbing now ..

My point is, you may live and keep your dreams as long as you want - it's your decision. But you have to realize what you'll be missing out in the real world. But if you can balance between dream and reality, then hopefully you're a happy person. You're doing something to make your dreams come true, but at the same time you're dreaming about something and try everything to make it real. I guess you can say that is a perfect life .. though it depends on how you see it. But I'm sure you'll be happy then :D

I'm nowhere near that apparently. I used to have big dreams when I graduated uni, but then those dreams shattered as I had to come home - as I would rather to stay in Australia. But situation, condition and circumstances didn't allow me to fight for my dreams, or maybe I was simply to chicken to act on it, I don't know .. but the decision was made.

Now, 10 years later after I came home for good, I can't say that I accomplish something big in my life. I've been working in the same company for nearly 10 years, which has nothing to do with what I studied back in uni and I already feel that it's a dead end. I don't see myself grow there. I'm still single and have no asset. Nothing seems to change dramatically about my life, as a result of being living in dreams too deep and somehow afraid to make it real 'cos "the bigger you dream, the harder you fall" and I have dreamed BIG!!

Time to act Net .. if it's not now, when? You're not getting any younger, time to make a stand and make yourself proud. The world doesn't awaits you. No one will make decision for you, but yourself. Soo plan out and reach that happiness.

Living your dream and make it happen ...

新年快樂

龍年快樂

- courtesy of my cousin, Jessica -

WongFu Productions

For those who is not familiar with WongFu, they are Chinese American Filmmaking Group composed by Wesley Chan (right), Ted Fu (left) and Philip Wang (middle), they were a University of San Diego graduates


I didn't know them either 'till Leehom introduced them through his latest single 依然愛你

It turns out that they are pretty big in States with various music clips, short movies, funny sketchs that they shared with the fans through youtube and any other media devices. And they are finally made it through Chinese market through Leehom's new MV.
End of 2011, they were invited to the White House to meet President Obama for the gathering of Asian American and Pacific Islanders - here is the link if anyone interested in reading more about their meeting with president.
My first reason of joining this event is because I want to meet the people who made Lee Hom's MV - which is currently my fave song ever. But other reason is that I studied Media Communication back in uni, I thought maybe I can have an A-HA moment which lead back to my right track of life. Working almost 10 years behind desk somehow is enough.

So let's see how it goes.

Happy Birthday My Melody

My Melody turns 37 years old today .. yes, she doesn't age apparently :)

Happy Birthday cutie!!

NKOTBSB

Yes, they are coming to Jakarta on 1 June 2012 ... yay!! The ticket is in hand ..

I still can't believe. NKOTB was my first ever concert - 12 February 1992 and 20 years later, here they are again.

I watched BSB concert back in 2008 I think. I've seen them individually as a group and I'm about to see them together .. ONE NIGHT - ONE STAGE .. ONCE IN A LIFETIME! Definitely not to be missed!!!

:))

New Year's Eve

I have just watched New Year's Eve, like Valentine's Day - Garry Marshall's previous film, it depicts a series of holiday vignettes of the state of several romances and features a large ensemble large.

The cast range for youngster artists like Zac Efron, Lea Michelle to senior actors like Robert De Niro, Michelle Pfeiffer, Halle Berry. With a nice touch of the pretty women like Jessica Biel, Katherine Heigl, Sarah Jessica Parker and also gorgeous actors such as Josh Duhamel and Ashton Kutcher. Even international singer Jon Bon Jovi joined the amazing cast and contributed his golden voice, acted as a singer himself, Jensen.

Overall, the storyline is light and simple but it's entertaining. Everybody should have a story how they want to end the previous year and begin the new one. And the lesson was, everybody should get a second chance and reach for their own happiness despite the many obstacles ahead.

For those who are looking for a little touchy but yet happy ending movie, this is definitely recommended.

2011 Movie list

Here is my big list for 2011 .. It will not be a big number 'cos there were some problems with the local distributor, importir and MPA regarding tax and custom so the Hollywood movies distribution were stopped for about 3 months, we didn't get anything. So I missed quite a lot movies 'cos of that ..

I watched 31 movies in 2009 and 54 movies in 2010 .. so here we go

1. Little Fockers
2. Yogi Bear
3. No String Attached
4. Green Hornet
5. King's Speech
6. Gnomeo & Juliet
7. The Warriors Way
8. Tanda Tanya
9. The Source Code
10. Pupus
11. Catatan Harian Si Boy
12. Something Borrowed
13. Harry Potter - Deathly Hallows Part 2
14. Transformers 3
15. Fast and Furious 5
16. Captain America
17. X-Men First Class
18. Hangover 2
19. Abduction
20. The Smurfs (2 times)
21. Johnny English Reborn
22. The Real Steel
23. The Adventure of Tintin
24. Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1
25. Puss in Boots
26. Arthur Christmas
27. Arisan 2
28. Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocols
29. Alvin and The Chipmunks: Chipwrecked

Damn, 29 movies?! That's not good .. gotta catch up this year! Movies, come to me!! ^^

2012

Hello ... it's 2012 already, time flies ...

Happy New Year first of all .. so much for re-activating my blog 6 months ago .. yet I didn't get around to do it!

Now, finally I have my own laptop, for the first time in my life, I promise to start blogging again!

As this is my first entry in 2012, I shall keep it short!

'till next time!! :D