18 days later

It's been 18 days passed since the New Year .. I thought I'll be over him by now, but apparently I haven't .. at least not yet completely! We have no so-called good progress in term of interaction and intense conversation, though I guess we're ok .. but yet still hard to let go. 

Though I learned through time that the hardest part of love is letting go .. but this isn't love, this is merely a crush .. weird crush. So why is it so hard? There isn't any promises or any sweet memories to remember, but yet there is something about him that make me stick around, and I don't know what .. 

Nowadays, I'm acting as normal as I possibly can .. I try not to use any feeling 'cos once feeling involves, it's gonna be even harder to let go. People always say "Expect the unexpected" .. I've stopped expecting the unexpected so once it happened, I take it as a blessing and not hoping for more after that. 'cos at the end, it's me who will end up hurting. 

So now .. I'm only trying to his friend, but I don't know what he wants. So whatever it is, I'm just gonna be normal. If we ever happened, then we happen. If not, I have nothing to lose .. instead I'm glad having this feeling.

I'm looking forward for where time will take me next .. hopefully I manage to pull through

"falling in love is easy .. staying in love is a challenge ..
letting go is hard .. moving on is the hardest.."