What remains

It's been 4 months since my last post .. how time flies and in those 4 months sadly to say that the feeling still there. But finally today, I've received the confirmation I've been waiting for the last 6 months ... surprisingly I felt OK. When I found out, I actually smiled and it felt like a burden lifted up from me. Now, I finally can stop wonder. 

It's amazing how this feeling works .. 

Be happy Net .. he was someone special that God brought to you. Through him, He taught you how to let go, how to be a better person and to accept the fact that everything in life need fighting for, nothing comes easily. 

For what it worth, I don't regret a single thing I did, including the big risk I took, wasted my feeling and time thinking about him. Whatever happened, I'm glad it was him, I won't have it any other way. A good thing that I know him as much as I need to know him .. brief and I have no memories to remember much. 

But I guess my biggest mistake wasn't falling for him, but it was thinking he had fallen for me too .. silly me! 

What remains now is hope that I had for him .. but now I'm ready to move on. I'm ready to leave this feeling behind. I'm ready to refer you as past tense. Thank you for the nice journey. 

18 days later

It's been 18 days passed since the New Year .. I thought I'll be over him by now, but apparently I haven't .. at least not yet completely! We have no so-called good progress in term of interaction and intense conversation, though I guess we're ok .. but yet still hard to let go. 

Though I learned through time that the hardest part of love is letting go .. but this isn't love, this is merely a crush .. weird crush. So why is it so hard? There isn't any promises or any sweet memories to remember, but yet there is something about him that make me stick around, and I don't know what .. 

Nowadays, I'm acting as normal as I possibly can .. I try not to use any feeling 'cos once feeling involves, it's gonna be even harder to let go. People always say "Expect the unexpected" .. I've stopped expecting the unexpected so once it happened, I take it as a blessing and not hoping for more after that. 'cos at the end, it's me who will end up hurting. 

So now .. I'm only trying to his friend, but I don't know what he wants. So whatever it is, I'm just gonna be normal. If we ever happened, then we happen. If not, I have nothing to lose .. instead I'm glad having this feeling.

I'm looking forward for where time will take me next .. hopefully I manage to pull through

"falling in love is easy .. staying in love is a challenge ..
letting go is hard .. moving on is the hardest.."

2012 Movie List

First and foremost .. Happy New Year 2013. It is now the 18th days of January and I'm currently at home, 2 days stucked at home 'cos of the big flood in Jakarta. Bigger flood than 2007, but thankfully this year we didn't get affected. But still can't go anywhere .. I'm on an island. 

Consider it as a free leave day .. 

So as previous years, this is big movie list of 2012 ... ain't that big .. 30 movies for the whole year, not good. But anyway, here we go ...

1. New Year's Day
2. I Don't Know How She Does It
3. This Means War
4. The Vow
5. Safe House
6. 21 Jump Street
7. Mirror Mirror
8. The Avengers
9. Dark Shadows
10. Madagascar 3
11. Snow White and the Huntsman
12. The Amazing Spiderman
13. The Flowers of War
14. Ice Age 4
15. What to Expect when You're Expecting
16. The Dark Knight Rises
17. The Double
18. Expendables 2
19. Bourne Legacy
20. Ted
21. Premium Rush
22. Alex Cross
23. Skyfall
24. Breaking Dawn Part 2
25. Hotel Transylvania
26. Hello Goodbye
27. Rise of the Guardians
28. The Hobbit
29. Habibie & Ainun
30. 5cm

Gonna catch up this year, specially with the rise of Indonesian movies and with Academy and Golden Globe awards list of movies .. just hope they are all shown here.